It's totally okay to say no to being a bridesmaid. There are lots of reasons that you either can't do it or don't want to do it. Whatever your reason, the bride should not give you a hard time for saying no. You'll want to choose the right way to say no and explain to her why you have said no.
I know some of you are reading this saying, "So you are telling me that if a girls best friend asks her to be a bridesmaid, it's okay for her to say no?" No, that's not at all what I'm saying. While it can happen, this is aimed towards bridesmaids, not maid of honor or matron of honor. Not that bridesmaids aren't important. Typically the maid/matron of honor is the brides best friend or sister. They are already there for everything in the brides life, not just the wedding. The maid/matron of honor is someone that the bride can trust 100% because she will be the brides right hand girl on the wedding day. She'll be in charge of the bridal shower and bachelorette party. I just wanted to clarify and make it clear what I am posting about.
Before you decide whether or not you want to be a bridesmaid, I'll go over some things you should know what all is entailed in being a member of the wedding party and the cost. Most of the times girls have to say no because of financial reasons. Keep reading and you will know EXACTLY what I mean.
Achieving The Look
First let's start out with the average cost of being a bridesmaid. Remember where you live will cause the costs to vary. According to a recent study done by Wedding Wire the average cost of being a bridesmaid is $1,200. But it's possible for that number to reach $1800. If you have never been a bridesmaid or don't know anything about being a bridesmaid, you may be wondering how can it possibly cost that much. Actually it's really easy for everything to add up to that amount. The average cost of a bridesmaid dress is $150. That price can go up to $208. Now, factor in the alterations which can average $70. Shoes and accessories, $120. Then there is the cost to look the part for the day. The average cost for professional hair, makeup, and a manicure is $132. Sometimes if a bride is requesting one of the above items to be specific, she may pick up the check for it or gift one of the items such as the accessories.
If you will need to travel and stay at a hotel then you will be spending an extra $300 for all of the travel expenses. Let's just hope you either live close, the couple can get hotel rooms at a group discount rate, or they have enough room for you to stay at their place.
The Parties - Bridal Shower & Bachelorette Party
A bridesmaid can look to spend between $50 and $100 for the bridal shower and $60 and up depending on where you go and what you do for the bachelorette party.
There is a wedding gift, bridal shower gift, and if their is an engagement party, a engagement gift. The average cost for a gift for the engagement party and the bridal shower are each $50. The average cost for the wedding gift is $100. Honestly, can't just one gift for the whole ordeal suffice?! Geez!!
Other Reasons You May Have To Say No
So if the cost isn't enough to make you hesitant to being a bridesmaid, there are other reasons you may have to think about saying yes or reasons you just can't.
If you have come to your final decision and you just can't do it, you will need to figure out a way to let the bride know that you won't be able to be a bridesmaid. Be honest and nice about it. More than likely you aren't doing it just to be mean. If she is a true friend she will understand.
Have you ever ran into this problem? What did you do? Were you the bride and therefore on the receiving end? How did it go? Let me know in the comments.